No, not at all. It is not about the children having to choose between their parents. If appropriate they may be asked their preference however this is dependent on factors such as age, cognitive development and understanding. Often the sessions are centered around asking questions regarding what it is like to be them during times of conflict between their parents. For example, how does it feel for them if mum and dad are fighting at changeover?

No. Children have their own session with the child consultant and feedback is provided to the parents independently. The actual mediation will consist of both participants, the mediator and the child consultant.

Child consultants are specially trained practitioners who are experts in making children feel supported, comfortable and safe. Children and young people have often reported feeling a sense of relief when someone asks them about their feelings, thoughts, and experiences. If a child has been exposed to arguments or conflict between their parents, being able to have a space to talk about it is beneficial.

This is a very common question with the misconception that the answer is 12 years of age. This is incorrect and under the Family Law Act, there is no specified age. A child’s wishes may be considered however other factors such as the child’s cognitive development, level of maturity as well as their capacity to make decisions will all be taken into consideration.

IWhen considering what to tell your child prior to meeting with the Child Consultant, keep it simple and do not put any pressure on them. Too much information can confuse your child and increase worry and stress for them leading up to the meeting.

Click on the link for more information about what to tell the children.

What is the Child Inclusive Mediation Process:

1. Separate Intake Sessions with both parents:

o Like the mediation intake session, the child consultant holds separate and confidential meetings with each parent to help them understand the process of child inclusive mediation as well as gain an understanding of each parent’s perspective of the child’s best interest. Any risk and safety issues including the appropriateness for child inclusive mediation are also assessed.

2. Consultations with children:

o If the children are in a sibling group, they will be seen together as a group and then individually.

o The consultations involve: Consulting with child(ren) in a supportive, developmentally appropriate manner about their experiences of the family separation and dispute; Ensuring that the style of consultation avoids and removes any burden of decision-making from the child; Understanding and formulating the child's core experience within a developmental framework; Validating children's experiences and providing essential information that may assist their present and future coping.

3. Feedback Session to Parents

o The key purpose of the consultant’s feedback session is to discuss the child’s experience in a way that is a true reflection of the child’s experience shared with the consultant. The consultant will deliver the feedback in a manner that helps the parents hear and reflect on their child’s needs and ensures that the ongoing mediation/litigation process and the agreements or decisions reached reflect the core psycho-developmental needs of each child.

o Feedback is delivered to parents individually and together.

4. Part Participation in the joint mediation session.

o In collaboration with the mediator, the child consultant will assess whether part participation in the joint mediation session would be appropriate and helpful. This can re-iterate the core themes from the feedback sessions guiding the foundation of the mediation session. The child consultant may attend for the first hour of the mediation.